Success X 2

This is the second Sunday in a row that I've gone to church with NO CRYING! I woke up this morning looking forward to getting ready and going. That is a big change! Again I went to my old church and saw even more people that I hadn't seen in a long time. I got so many hugs and such a nice welcome. The sermon was great and I left feeling really refreshed.

While Pastor was giving the sermon he talked about how when you sit in church and worry about outside things it means that you aren't trusting God to take care of those things for you. That really hit home to me. What is funny about this is about two minutes before he said that my mind was wandering a bit and I was worrying/thinking about all the adoption stuff. I was playing the little mind game of what if the adoption agency is trying to call right now I left my phone in the car, what if I don't get matched, what if I never get a baby, etc. His sermon was a great reminder to me that God is going to provide for me and take care of the adoption for me and I need to trust that. I need to have faith that he is preparing me and preparing a baby to come together. He has it all planned I just need to sit back and wait faithfully. I guess I just needed a little reminder of that this morning.

So it's been a great Sunday and I have a feeling it's going to be a great week!

Jessie

Blast From The Past

It's been a blast from the past weekend around here. We have a family friend Lee that lived here for years. Well he decided a couple years ago to move out to western Kansas so we don't see him as often. But when my mom was sick he came often to visit and whenever he is in town to see his kids he comes by. I was thinking to myself this morning that it had been a long time since I'd seen him. At least two months. Well not to long after that the doorbell rang and there he stood! Just what I needed. I was so shocked I think I hugged him three times. We had a great visit and now he is off again. He is such a great guy.

Today I went to church at my old church and it was GREAT! I saw so many people that I hadn't seen in a long time and I just felt very comfortable. I think I'm going to go there again next week. There was no crying involved!!! It helped to see so many friendly faces that I've known for so long.

Off to do homework.

Jessie

A Little Better

I'm feeling a little better today. I got a lot of house work and home work done today so that eases some stress. I can actually see the kitchen table now and all my laundry is done! That is success.

I did get up this morning and went to church. However, I got up and left about 30 minutes into it. I just can't stand going to church anymore. I sit there and cry and miss my mom and the whole time I'm there I'm angry that I'm sitting there alone. So I left.

I've been thinking about it a lot today and I called a lady that was good friends with my mom and that goes to the other Lutheran church in town. She is going to pick me up next Sunday and take me to church with her at my old church. Since I'll be riding with her family I can't leave in the middle or I'll have to walk home so that fixes that dillemia.

I went to the church she goes to the whole time I was growing up. Then about 4 years ago they got a new pastor that we really didn't click with. So my mom, Heather and I transferred to the church I go to now. I love the pastor there but the congregation is older and I don't know many people. I always sit by myself and they don't have many activities outside of the regular services.

At my old church I knew everyone and there are more people my age. So maybe if I go back there next week I won't feel as lonely or angry... Good theory right... The pastor that I don't like is still there but at this point it's worth a shot. I'm tired of crying through church or being ticked off the whole time so we will see if it works.

Well Lena just came running in here with half a roll of toilet paper. Seems she was having fun while I was blogging. So I'm off to clean up that mess.

Jessie