Sunday, September 09, 2007

A Little Better

I'm feeling a little better today. I got a lot of house work and home work done today so that eases some stress. I can actually see the kitchen table now and all my laundry is done! That is success.

I did get up this morning and went to church. However, I got up and left about 30 minutes into it. I just can't stand going to church anymore. I sit there and cry and miss my mom and the whole time I'm there I'm angry that I'm sitting there alone. So I left.

I've been thinking about it a lot today and I called a lady that was good friends with my mom and that goes to the other Lutheran church in town. She is going to pick me up next Sunday and take me to church with her at my old church. Since I'll be riding with her family I can't leave in the middle or I'll have to walk home so that fixes that dillemia.

I went to the church she goes to the whole time I was growing up. Then about 4 years ago they got a new pastor that we really didn't click with. So my mom, Heather and I transferred to the church I go to now. I love the pastor there but the congregation is older and I don't know many people. I always sit by myself and they don't have many activities outside of the regular services.

At my old church I knew everyone and there are more people my age. So maybe if I go back there next week I won't feel as lonely or angry... Good theory right... The pastor that I don't like is still there but at this point it's worth a shot. I'm tired of crying through church or being ticked off the whole time so we will see if it works.

Well Lena just came running in here with half a roll of toilet paper. Seems she was having fun while I was blogging. So I'm off to clean up that mess.



Laura said...

Have you considered taking an Alpha course? It's a good way to meet new people at church and also would be a good way to discuss any troubles you are having with God at the moment since your mom's passing. Just a thought in case it might help you. If you took an Alpha course you could even try an entirely new church and still feel like you have a support group there.

Darby said...

and jess...we could go to my church together. it'd be like starting over for both of us since we haven't been going regularly!! chris and i think we'd like to get caden started in sunday school anyway! what do ya think?