Saturday, September 09, 2006

Alone

Well this is the first day that I have been alone in over 7 months. Not the best day to say the least. My Dad and Cricket headed out early this morning. My aunts headed out around noon, Shawn and Amanda about 1:30 and Heather around 4:30. So I've spent the evening getting settled into my new place... It's hard to think of it as my home since it is actually my mom's. But some paint, some moving in of my things, and some time will make it mine I'm sure.

I was pretty upset when Heather left but we had a rough afternoon so I think that is why. We went through my mom's clothes to make room for mine since I'm moving them over here tomorrow. That was really hard! We miss her so much. But we saved a ton of them and the rest we boxed up. We aren't getting rid of anything yet. Just boxing it so we can make room for my things...

While this afternoon was rough tonight has been okay. Lena and I are trying to get accustomed to everything. She doesn't know what to think of such a big house! She seems impressed with all the tile floors. More to slip and slide on which she loves.

The relay last night was a success. Again that was hard! Most things are hard right now but I think that is normal. I just had a hard time as I watched the survivors lap. My aunt Betty walked as a cancer survivor so that was cool! But it was hard to watch the others. I just wonder why my mom couldn't have survived. Why did she have to die??? But I made it through the night despite the conflicting emotions, rain, cold, and little sleep. So I guess that is success!!! The total raised was close to $72,000 which is so freaking cool! That's pretty impressive for a small town I think.

Okay I'm heading to bed...

Jess

2 comments:

Phelan said...

hugs, and dream well.

Julie said...

That's so great. I'm proud of you for doing that, against all the odds. It would have been easy for you to not go to the relay, and stay home and be sad, but you didn't - you got out there and did it for her. You're a good daughter. :-)