Rematched
I got a call from my social worker today and I am rematched with another expectant mom. I met with her and her family on Saturday and the meeting went well. So she would like to move forward with an adoption plan with me. While I would usually be very excited about this after two other failed matches it's not nearly as exciting. In fact it's almost terrifying and a little depressing. All I can think is that this is what happens before she changes her mind... Horrible isn't it.
But I'm going to try really hard to be optimistic. I'm going to make myself believe that the third time may really be a charm. I'm going to try to believe that maybe I am meant to have a baby girl and that's why the others haven't worked out. This baby is a little girl so maybe it will work. I'm going to try very hard to pray and have faith that God has a plan and no matter how this ends up it's all part of his plan. And I'm going to cross my fingers and my toes and hope like crazy this is the last time I have to go through the horrible waiting process....
Miss S is due on March 11th. Not to far away. So hopefully the time will go quickly and I will know the end result soon enough.
Here's to hoping and praying...
Jessie
4 comments:
Jessie, that is so exciting! Hang on to your faith. If you didn't face all these hardships, you would not receive your blessing! For some reason we are sometimes challenged and it feels like we just want to give up. But--you just can't!! I will add you to my long, but cherished prayer list--of which has had many wonderful changes to it throughout the year. It does remind me that God is good!!
Your feelings make complete sense - not horrible, but honest and real. When you said that it is almost terrifying and a little depressing - I can't imagine that it would be easy to get excited again and to not think of what has happened. But, I'm going to be optimistic for you, along with you - we all will be and then you will have all of us thinking these positive thoughts for you and praying for you for this time to be it.
A girl? Oh that makes me happy! I always thought you should have a girl for some reason... (like I know or something!)
Jessie,
Wow, I hope the time till delivery goes by fast for you!!Keep up the optimism!!
Fingers and toes are crossed and I'll be sending all my positive thoughts your way that it works out.
Hugs,
Kerri and Ruby
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