Dedication... or Addiction

Well I don't know if I'm a dedicated blogger or an addicted one. It may be a bit of both. I am in Indiana visiting my lovely niece Mattie! She is adorable by the way! But they don't have Internet access. So my little blogging addiction is going crazy. So I've now driven around their neighborhood and found someone with an unsecured wireless network. So I'm on! I'm guessing that eventually the neighbors will notice an odd girl sitting in her car blogging and wonder what in the hell is going on. But until then HI!!!

Okay Mattie rocks. She weighs like 5.9 pounds, sleeps, eats, poops, and cries. She doesn't know any tricks, can't talk and doesn't know a single joke. But I'm fascinated by her. She is an amazing little person. How God makes something so tiny that is so perfect is beyond me. It's really miraculous.

I hold her and think of my mom. I know how much mom would have loved to have met her. I know how important that was to her. I know what an amazing grandma she would have been. And I ache to have her here with us. What's funny is I do feel like she knows Mattie, I feel like she knew her before any of the rest of us did. And I know when I hold Mattie that even though my heart hurts it is healing. A new life and a new year. We will survive. Joy is rising to the top and the pain is lessening. I miss my mom but hope is floating to the top. Hope of our future as a family. Babies are a gift, my mom taught us that. We won't let this gift be overridden by grief.

So thank God for Mattie! And if you have your mom give her a hug for me!

Jessie