Sunday, December 31, 2006

What A Year

Well the end of the year is fast approaching. It has been quite a year to say the least. I think of all the firsts and lasts this year has held and it's overwhelming... So lets just review the highlights and lowlights...

1. At the start of 2006 my stepdad informs us that he wants to divorce my mom... Bad deal... The end of that relationship in my life...

2. My mom, sister, and I start planning for our future without my stepdad. We were in a small way looking forward to the adventure of just the three of us girls again. We all made a good team. The beginning of our new life together was starting...

3. My mom gets sick, then real sick and then the doctors tell us that it's pancreatic cancer... The beginning of the end... or is it...

4. Our family and friends rally around us as my mom begins treatment. We learn a lot about faith, unconditional love, the power of prayer, and small miracles... We are growing through our pain.

5. We find a way to make a terminal illness bearable. We laugh and cry and joke and play together. We have our last birthday parties with our mom, our last Easter, our last Fourth of July. We take tons of pictures and cherish each moment. We know that each major event probably will be the first one with cancer and the last one ever. It's an overwhelming feeling but we wouldn't trade the togetherness for anything...

6. My mom and stepdad's separation is finalized, we buy her a new house in town and the fun of remodeling begins. We paint and clean and recarpet and make it hers. She loved it! We did a mass moving event and had it all set up in no time. She had her first home as a single woman. The first place that was really "her home"!

7. We connect with the wonderful folks at Hospice. We meet our nurse Sheila and bond with her like crazy. Without cancer we never would have met her and what a gift she was and will forever be in our lives.

8. We have those last moments together with our mom, the last day she ate every meal, the last day she told a joke, the last time she wrote us a note, the last time she told us goodbye.

9. Mom heads home for heaven. We are with her and love her all the way. It is the end of our earthly relationship and the beginning of our spiritual relationship. Her strength inspires us to push forward, live life and continue to find joy in the people around us.

10. We have made it through the last months of 2006 without our mom. So much has changed so quickly. We pushed through Christmas and survived. We miss her and need her and want her but we are surviving.

We are going to make it through 2006. In September, when mom died, I wondered if I would make it a week. But I did. We are going to be okay. We will never stop missing her but we are finding a way to live and laugh and love...

We are ready for 2007!

Jessie

3 comments:

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Julie said...

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Wow. 2006 was a bitch for you. May 2007 be full of happiness, new beginnings and love love love.

Chelle & Chel said...

Thanks for sharing that.

Hugs to you.

Chelle