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The End

I've decided that I'm not going to be blogging for awhile. At least not on this blog. I will continue to post on my adoption blog. I'm considering starting a new blog elsewhere for various reasons. If you would be interested in following me to my new blog when I start it please leave me a comment or send me an email and I will make sure to let you know where to find me in the future. Thanks for reading for all this time!

Jessie

Crazy

It's been a crazy couple of days at work! We have a huge project that we were told about on Monday morning and it is due tomorrow morning. Not much notice and quite a bit of stress. So long hours and a bit of panic in my world. I'll actually be glad to go to class tomorrow to get a break from the craziness. Go figure!

With all the hours at work it has really helped to keep my mind off the other stuff. I figure that is never a bad thing. I did get a nice bouquet of flowers today from the adoption agency and a very thoughtful card. That was a nice surprise. And luckily for me everyone at work is getting used to this whole routine so they don't make a big deal out of it anymore. That helps. I hate talking about it and hate that look people give you when they feel sorry for you. It reminds me of when my mom died. I hate that look!

So off to bed for me so I can get to work early.

Jessie

Manic Monday

You find that your best friend has stolen money to pay for medical treatment for a seriously ill relative. What would you do?

I would encourage them to return it and apply for grants to help with the cost of the medical treatment. There are lots of hospitals that have funds available to help.

What three things you regret not learning to do?

Learning to make gravy like my mom.
Learning to play the piano.
Learning Spanish

Menu Plan Monday

This is my first Menu Plan Monday. I usually plan my menu in advance but I've never taken part in this meme. So I thought this would be a good week to start.

Monday- Sloppy Joe Tator Tot Casserole

Tuesday- Soup and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Wednesday- Leftovers

Thursday- Chili Mac Casserole

Friday- Turkey Sandwich, Fruit, and a Salad

Saturday- Dinner Out with Family

Sunday- Meat Loaf, Scalloped Potatoes, and Salad

What's on your menu?

Regrouping

Sundays are the best for regrouping. I got a lot accomplished today. I went grocery shopping, did laundry, played with Lena, cleaned my bedroom, paid some bills. Basically I stayed busy and kept my mind off everything else. Nothing like busy work to keep a girl going.

Tomorrow will be a busy day at work. I have a staff meeting in the morning and a meeting with the county attorney in the afternoon. I have a ton of reports to go over and emails to return. So I'll stay preoccupied most of the day there. That's never a bad thing.

I wish I could say I'm bouncing back from this failed one like I have the others. I'm not as sad as the other times but I'm still really angry. I don't really know what I'm going to do. I don't know if this is the end of the road or not. I'm not in a good place and there are no clear answers. Maybe tomorrow when the sun comes up I'll have a clearer picture....

Jessie

Not Again

Miss S gave birth to a baby girl on Thursday. After several drama filled days of going back and forth she has decided to parent the baby. So I've now hit failed adoption number 3! I think I may be getting close to a world record in failed adoptions. If anyone is reading this and has had three or more failed adoptions please leave me a comment and let me know how you deal with this.

I'm so pissed off right now. I'm not pissed at Miss S I'm pissed at the universe and God. I don't understand why this keeps happening. And I really don't understand why I'm a person that can't just get pregnant and have her own baby. It's horrible having to ask someone for a baby. And it pisses me off that I have no control or power in this. So now I'm back to waiting. Always waiting.

So that's the scoop of the week.

Jessie

Top 10 American Idol Boys

I think this week was much better overall then last week. Everyone seemed a little more relaxed. They also seemed to really be enjoying themselves more. I like to see that. It makes it so much more fun to watch!

Michael Johns- I still love my Australian boy. This week wasn't my favorite performance of his but I love Fleetwood Mac and I thought it was good. What's interesting is Michael's worst performance is still much better than most of the others best performance. I like him. He gets my vote this week.

Jason Castro- Oh honey I just wanna touch your locks. I so love that hair. I think he is great on the guitar. I am so glad they let them use instruments this year. That makes me happy. What a pretty boy with a wonderful voice. Good times watching him!

Luke Menard- I just really can't get excited about Luke Menard. The boy looks great. He's hot as fire but his singing is cold as ice. I just don't feel like he is really into it. And I don't feel like the audience ever connects with him. But then it might just be me. Thumbs down in my opinion. I wouldn't be disappointed if he went home soon.

Robbie Carrico- I love love love him still! The rocker makes me happy inside. He is so comfortable on stage and I enjoy that the most about him. He looks like he is supposed to be on stage and has been doing it for years. Rockers don't seem to last long on Idol but I think we could see him get a record deal out of this regardless of how far he goes in the competition.

Danny Noriega- It just hit me why it is that this kid creeps me out a little. When I watch him sing I feel like I'm watching an after school special about coming out to your parents. He is a cute kid, has fun hair, and is a great entertainer. But I can't get away from the fact that it's always a show and it seems like he is totally acting rather than really enjoying his moment on stage. I don't know if that makes any sense but he just doesn't set well with me.

David Hernandez- Every season there is the one contestant that makes me think he might be a child molester. I always get that Pee Wee Herman he's not quite right feeling at some point each season. This season it's David that give me that feeling. He just creeps me out. I honestly can't even tell you what I think of his singing. I can't get past the creepy feeling to listen to him. Bye Bye David!!!!

Jason Yeager- This week was like watching a totally different person. This week didn't even compare to last week. He was so much better. I still don't think he will last long but he at least seemed to be with it and seemed to have some fun. Way more energetic. He might make it another week with that performance but I think he will still be in the bottom two or three.

Chikezie- I like his voice. He actually reminds me a lot of Luther Vandross in his early years. But I think he is to old fashioned for this competition. I think he would be a great recording artist and I think he could get an album and do fairly well. But I just don't see him fitting in this competition much longer. Very talented guy just not quite right for American Idol.

David Cook- Another sexy rocker. You can never have too many hot rockers. I actually think he might be able to hang in there for quite awhile. I am going to predict the top 8 at least. I really think he has a unique voice, is versatile and would sell records. He has my vote this week.

David Archuleta- This kid blows me away!!!! He sang one of my favorite songs this week. Imagine. Let me tell you I can imagine him in the finale! He has mad skills, control, passion, and crowd appeal. LOVE HIM!!!! Two votes from me this week. I think this boy could take the show!

So that's my opinion of the boys this week. We get the girls tomorrow. I'm excited to see what the girls do. I think tomorrow will be a fun night too.

Jessie

Upset

Someone named Roy Keighley is upset with me. He doesn't think that I should post on my own blog about him being a thief. He doesn't like for people to know that he is stealing my credit card information and bank information and purchasing things without my permission. He doesn't want the public to know he is a criminal. In fact his anger is boiling over and he is being pretty inappropriate.

Tonight while I was trying to sleep he started text messaging me. Since he doesn't have any defense for his actions he started to attack my sister and I personally. He texted about my failed adoptions and tried to use that as an attack on me as a person. Pretty low I think. Then he moved on to making racist comments about the possibility of me adopting a child of another race as well as my sister dating a man from Africa. I think he is reaching a bit and making poor choices while his ship goes down.

He seems to think that he will scare me into silence. I'm not going to be silent. What he is doing is wrong. I have proof that he has stolen from me. I have plenty of evidence. I'm not going to stop until he is in jail. I will continue to contact law enforcement regularly and I will continue to encourage them to pursue him. I want them to arrest him and ensure that he will never do this to another person.

Jessie

School Daze

I had my Saturday class today. I'm so disappointed with this class. I was really excited when I enrolled in it. It's a Bowen Family Systems Theory class. I love Family Systems Theory. I just really get it and it's very interesting to me. So I thought the class would be a great opportunity to learn more about it and improve my skills. But it is so BORING! Listening to the prof is as interesting as watching grass grow. What's sad is that it's so basic I could be teaching the class. So getting up at 6 to make it to class on time is rather hard to do.

After wading through the boredom of class I rewarded myself with some Mattie time. I spent the afternoon hanging out with Shawn, Amanda, Kaitlyn and Mattie. We had a fun time. Mattie is walking all over the place now. She will walk and walk and then she drops down on the floor and just laughs! She is such a silly little thing.

Miss Lena and I are going hang out tonight and play a bit while I work on some homework. Fun times.

Jessie

Saturday Special

Pastime Repeats ~ What Is The...~

1. One Movie You'd Watch Over & Over Again?: The Butterfly Effect
2. One Book You'd Read Over & Over Again?: This Much I Know Is True by Wally Lamb
3. One TV Series You'd Watch Over & Over Again?: Lost
4. One Song You'd Listen To Over & Over Again?: My Wish by Rascal Flats

Beef Potpie with Biscuits

I meant to give you all the recipe for the Beef Potpie that I made. But I posted the last post without including it. So here it is.

1-1/2 pounds boneless beef top round steak, cut into 1/2 cubes
2 cups frozen peas and carrots, thawed (I used organic)
1 large potato, peeled, cooked and diced
1 medium onion, chopped
1 jar 18 oz beef gravy (I just used two packets of gravy mix and followed those directions)
1/2 t dried thyme
1/4 t pepper
1 tube refrigerated biscuits

In a large skillet, cook the beef over medium heat until no longer pink, drain. Stir in the veggies, gravy, thyme, and pepper. While I was cooking the beef I was also mixing and cooking the packet gravy.

Transfer to a greased deep dish pie plate. Bake, uncovered, at 400 degrees for 25 minutes.

Place the biscuits in a single layer over the meat mixture. Bake 10-15 minutes longer or until biscuits are golden brown.

Very easy and delicious!

Jessie

Cooking

My sister-in-law Amanda is an amazing cook. She makes all kind of things and they are so delicious. I'm always envious of her cooking skills. I'm not a bad cook but I'm for sure not as skilled as her. So I've been paying attention to her and I'm learning a few things from her.

1. Spices are important. Amanda has an amazing spice rack and she uses it. This is something I need to get more comfortable with. I'm always a bit fearful about what some of the odd spices will do to the food.

2. Plan ahead. Amanda is good about planning her meals ahead of time and having lots of options on hand. I tend to buy groceries ahead of time but it's more like sandwich stuff, cereal, easy to make stuff rather than real meal makings.

3. It doesn't have to be hard. Sometimes I think a really great meal involves hours and lots of pots, pans, skillets, etc. She makes some really great meals involving one pan and 30 minutes.

4. Try new things. I tend to stick with the same 5-10 recipes and don't go much out of my comfort zone. Amanda has lots of cookbooks and tries lots of things. It makes every meal a surprise and you don't get sick of stuff as quick.

So to challenge myself to try the things I'm learning from Amanda I got a cool little Taste of Home Casserole Cookbook. Amanda got the same one so we are taking turns trying the new recipes. Last night I made Beef Potpie with Biscuits. It took a whole 30 minutes and everyone loved it! It was really good. Tomorrow Amanda is making the 4 cheese chicken fettuccine. Next Thursday when they all come over I'm going to try another new recipe. It's kinda fun and I'm learning new things. I even minced my own garlic! I'm cool like that.

Jessie

Struck Again

The identity thief has struck again. Today $506 worth of jewelry ordered in his name arrived on my doorstep. $506 of really crappy tacky jewelry. So I instantly ran to check my accounts and sure enough he somehow managed to get into my bank account again. I'm now overdrawn. I'm so freaking pissed!

I filed another police report which is probably useless. They aren't doing anything to help me anymore. My case isn't "high profile" enough at this point. How many felony charges does it take to make someone "high priority"??? My credit is in the gutter, I have no cash available to me at this moment and no one wants to help. It's ridiculous. I could potentially be on maternity leave in a few weeks with no available cash. Thanks a lot asshole!

So since the police don't want to help and he seems to think this is fun I'm going to take matters into my own hands. I'm placing an ad in the newspaper with his picture warning the public that he will steal from you. I'm also going to start mailing him a letter everyday with a picture of the local jail.

So Roy Wayne Keighley you are on notice. I know you read this blog so take note. If the police won't help me I'll help myself. I'll warn others of the things you do. I may never get my money back but I'm getting my power back. My advice of the day is if you encounter him you should hide your purse, computer, and any cash. He will rob you blind.

Jessie

American Idol Girls

The top 12 girls performed tonight. I was really excited to see the girls but honestly I was a bit disappointed. The weren't as good as I thought they would be. Shockingly the boys seem to be off to a better start than the girls. I really thought they were all very nervous and off tonight.

The Girls I Love

Brooke White- I really like Brooke. She is just pure and gentle when she sings. I like that. She is also very unique and I like that. The girl can sing. She was a bit nervous tonight and she didn't do as well as her previous auditions. Even with that said I do think she will hang in the competition for quite awhile.

Alaina- This girl can sing. She is a young thing. Only 16. But she came out looking like a champ tonight. You would have thought she had been singing for years. Very controlled voice, fun performance and a lot of energy. She is off to a wonderful start!

Amanda Overmeyer- Gotta love my rocker girl! I really dig Amanda's voice. She has a really strange and amazing voice. I wasn't feeling the song she picked tonight but I still really love her. Her other auditions were wonderful. While I love her I don't think she will make it too the end. It seems like the rockers don't stick around to long. But I guess we will see.

Asia'h Epperson- Asia'h has some mad skills. She sings from her soul and she can entertain. I love her personality and every song she sings she makes it her own. I think she is going to go pretty far in the competition.

Syesha Mercado- LOVE HER, LIKE HER, WANNA KEEP HER! She is for sure my favorite right now. She has a big old voice and she has a great look. I love her hair and Heather and I think she has a bangin body. She has the look and the talent. I think she will be in the top 6 for sure.

The Girls I Can't Stand

Amy Davis- Amy made me very sleepy. I just realy don't like her at all. I don't like watching her on stage and I really didn't like her song choice. I'm hoping she won't last long.

Kady Malloy- I'm not feeling Kady at all. She can impersonate Britney Spears but she has no skills of her own. I don't expect her to last long at all. She really is just very bland.

Joanne Borgella- I really wanted to like Joanne. The whole fat girl unite part of me just really really wants to like her. And I do like her. She is really a beautiful girl and has a fun personality. But I don't like her voice at all. I just can't get into it.

Carly Smithston- The judges love her and I'm just not seeing it or hearing it at all! I find her to be a bit frightening. She is so dark and vampire like. I just really don't like her. I just want her to go away soon!

The Girls I Don't Care About

Ramielle

Kristy Lee Cook

Alexandra Lushington

Tomorrow night we will find out who stays and who goes. Don't forget to vote!

Jessie

Wonderful Wednesday

Today was a really good day! Libby came back to work and I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It is really wonderful to have her at the office. Today she started wading through all her emails and staffing cases with her staff so she will be back in the game in no time. I'm so excited to just get back to my regular responsibilities.

School was good today too. My prof actually got my name right! I'm no longer Jancy. That rocks. I have a lot of homework to do this week so hopefully the weekend will be pretty quiet so I can get a lot done. I just love writing papers. :-) That's always good times.

American Idol is about to start so I gotta run.

Jessie

Wordless Wednesday- Birthday Girl

American Idol Boys

Tonight was the first night American gets to vote for the new Idol. The top 12 boys performed tonight. I am so excited we are too this point. I love the voting piece. This is when I think the show gets really fun. So here is my run down of the top 12 boys....

The Guys I Love

Robbie Carrico- He sang love is the Lonliest Number. I really dig Robbie. He is one of my favorites. I like the rock star quality. I thought he made the song cool again and really proved himself. He looks like a pro on stage.

Danny Archuleta- This boy is 17 years old and he has pure talent in my opinion. He just makes you feel like you are watching someone do something great when you see him. I think he is going to go pretty far in this competition. For being so young he really has a great voice and great control.

Danny Noriega- I think that Danny will hang in the competition for awhile. He is fun to watch. He has a lot of energy and is a fun performer. I didn't like his song choice and he can be a bit annoying but I think he will end up with a good following of people.

Jason Castro- This boy is HOT! I love his hair and his beautiful eyes. He is very talented. It just seemed right to see him on stage. Gotta love that guitar and his sweet as sugar voice. We are going to be seeing him for awihle.

Michael Jones- He sang Come On Baby Light My Fire and trust me he lit my fire. I love his accent, his voice, his look. He could sing to me every night. He picked a great song for his voice and style. Very good choice. We are gonna see him for awhile too.

The Boys I Can't Stand

Garrett- He sang Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. Well breaking up with him wouldn't be hard for me. That boy is weird. He looks really sick and he scares me a litlte bit. What's up with the weird hair and the odd little creppy mustache. Not a big fan of him. I think he will go away this week.

Colton- He sang Suspicious Minds and didn't sing it well. I don't like that. I'm a big Elvis fan. I don't like it when people mess the songs up. He also seemed really fake on stage. I'm guessing he won't last long.

Chikezie- I really liked him in the auditions but now I'm not a big fan. He didn't seem real comfortable on stage and I don't think the crowd was really feeling him. He just seemed really nervous. I'm hoping he can come back next week and get it right.

Luke Menard- Luke is really handsome and I thought I would really like him. I wanted him to be really good. But his song made me tired. He doesn't sound right and doesn't seem comfortable. I'm not sure what the deal is but I don't dig him.

The Guys I Don't Care About

David Hernandez
David Cook
Jason Yeager

So get to voting folks. The girls perform tomorrow and then they start eliminating on Thursday. I think we have a fun season ahead.

Jessie

I Made It

I've been covering a lot of extra responsiblities at work for the past 12 weeks. The other supervisor has been on maternity leave. But Libby is coming back to work tomorrow. This has been an incredibly long twelve weeks. Lots of hours, lots of work, lots of stress. But I made it through and so did all our staff. In a way it's been a good experience because I've really learned how to manage many different things at once. I've learned how to delegate and ask for help when needed. So there were lots of benefits but I'm sure glad Libby is coming back tomorrow! It's going to be a wonderful Wednesday!

Jessie

Ten on Tuesday

Ten Things I Love

1. My camera

2. Greenworks Cleaning Products

3. Product Red items

4. Books

5. Crystal Light

6. 100 Calorie Snack Packs

7. Wii

8. Blogging

9. Lost

10. Diet Dr. Pepper

What 10 things do you love?

Tackle It Tuesday

This weekend I had a big birthday party for my sister Heather. I love having parties. I love the decorating, the cooking, the planning, the food, and most of all the houseful of people. But I hate the cleanup! So I put it off until I couldn't stand it anymore. So I had no choice but to tackle the mess of the house and the fridge. So I cleaned up the living room and got it back to it's normal state. And I sorted through all the leftovers. Here are the before and after pictures.

Birthday Pictures

I finally got the pictures from Heather's birthday party edited and uploaded. It took me awhile but I had a bunch of them. So here they are!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Kaitlyn

Miss Kaitlyn really wants me to do a blog post all about her. Mattie gets lots of posts and Heather gets some so Kaitlyn really wants a post about her. So since I rock I'm giving Kaitlyn a post complete with pictures.

This is Miss Kaitlyn



Kaitlyn is 16 and enjoys talking on the phone for hours on end, listening to her ipod, trying to figure out ways out of doing chores or homework, and spending time with her niece Mattie.

This is Kaitlyn with Mattie



Kaitlyn is like most teenagers. She loves her family a lot. She is a happy kid. She helps out and trys to do nice things for others. But like most teenagers Kaitlyn's mood can change with the wind. Here is the proof of that. These pictures were taken just minutes apart.




So Kaitlyn here is a post all about you! Hope you enjoy it.

Jessie

Busy Weekend

It's been a busy couple of days around here. My Dad and Cricket flew in late Thursday night because we were having Heather's 21st Birthday Party this weekend! We had it last night. We had a lot of fun but the rain and snow kept some people away. We still had a good turnout and a good time. I'll post pictures later.

Everyone else is still sleeping so I thought I would log on for a minute or two. I've got plenty of cleanup to do today so I might as well get started before everyone else wakes up. I love parties but hate the aftermath. I really thought when I went to bed last night a little fairy would come and fix the house in the nighttime but no such luck. I better get on it.

Jessie

Love Thursday

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I'm not a real big fan of Valentine's Day but for some reason this year I'm a little more into it. My Dad and Cricket are flying in tonight and I'm excited about being able to see them. That may have something to do with it. At least I get to spend the day with folks I love! Hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day.

To see more pictures of love visit Shutter Sisters.

Jessie

1000 Posts

This post is post number 1000! How cool is that. I'm pretty excited about it. When I started this blog I just mainly had friends and family reading it. Now becausse of this blog I've made new friends I never would have met before. I have blogging buddies that know me better than some people I know in real life.

What's also weird is that when I started this blog it was for other people. I was going to keep my people up to date on the things going on in my life. But the more I wrote and the more I blogged the more it became about me. It became my sanity, it became my daily routine, it's what has helped me find who I really am. I'm so grateful for that.

So here's to 1000 more!

Jessie

Wordless Wednesday- Dog Days

Writers Strike Is Over

WAHOOOOOOOO!!!!! The writers strike is over. The writers will be going back to work on Wednesday! I think I'm going to send them a thank you card. This may mean that Grey's will have a few more new episodes before the official end of the season!!! Let's have a party people! I was beginning to think that the strike was never going to end.

Jessie

Tackle It Tuesday

For some reasons my kitchen cabinets always get out of control. I have way to many plastic containers and not enough lids. So I tackled the plastic mess of my cabinets today! Here are the before and after pictures. It only ended up taking 12 minutes to get it done. Yes I timed myself. Now why do I wait so long to do these things????

Age Gap

My sister-in-law Amanda has a younger sister Kaitlyn that is 16. She recently moved here from Michigan to live with Shawn and Amanda. She is going to the same alternative high school that I went to as a teenager. Anyways, Amanda got sick over the weekend so to help out I brought Kaitlyn and Mattie to my house last night to spend the night. We had a good time and things went well but I'm starting to realize that there is a reason parents don't usually space their children out with a 15 year age gap.

I first noticed on the drive in that while Mattie and I were listening to calm yet fun Alicia Keys music on the radio Kaitlyn had her ipod blaring some music I didn't understand at a volume that I'm pretty sure could cause deafness. I also noticed in the car that Mattie wouldn't quit babbling and talking yet Kaitlyn only answered questions in one syllable grunts over the blaring music.

We got to the house and Miss Mattie immediatly went to play with the dog and toys while Kaitlyn made a beeline for the internet. So I spent the evening running between Kaitlyn and Mattie supervising very different activities. I kept checking to make sure that Chester the Molestor wasn't instant messaging Kaitlyn and then running back to get Mattie off the coffee table or out of the dog food. So while their interests are totally different they both live in the land of no... Kaitlyn can't talk to boys online and Mattie can't eat dog food. Kaitlyn can't stay on the cell phone non stop and Mattie can't tear up every magazine in sight. Poor girls!




Seriously though they both are really good kids. They get into things but they were both good for me. We all hung out and played. Both girls were in bed by 9 with no complaints or crying. Everyone slept through the night and woke up happy this morning. It was good. What's crazy is even with a teenager and a toddler around I got out of the house on time and in a great mood.

Though this morning the age gap presented itself again. Mattie did not want to get dressed. She fought and fought the changing out of her jammies into some clothes. And Kaitlyn couldn't wait to get dressed but I wasn't sure about her outfit or the length of her skirt. Weird kids.

But we made it out the door on time. When I dropped Kaitlyn off at school I made sure to tell her to have a great day, not to kiss boys, don't cave to peer pressure and just say no. I also hugged her and waved and honked. She explained that I'm really a dork but she thinks I'll be a good mom. I think that might be a compliment coming from a teenager.

Such is life....

Jessie

Manic Monday

What is the most romantic movie that you've ever seen?

I'm not a big fan of romantic movies. But I like romantic comedies. I thought that Raising Helen was a good mix.

If you could be the lover of any person alive other than your current lover, who would you pick?

Denzel Washington for sure! That would be one hell of a good Valentines Day!!!

What scents remind you of a loved one?

Cheer detergent

Can You Say Happy

Today I went and picked up my dream camera! The Canon Digital Rebel XTi is officially mine!!!! I've been wanting this camera for a long time but didn't have the money to get it. So I've been saving my change for a good 2 1/2 years now and I thought I may have enough. So I went and cashed it in and there was $972 in change!!!! Enough for my camera!

I'm so excited. I had class in Topeka today and then I was able to go pick it up after that. And since I bought my camera at a certain store I get to take two photography classes there for free. It's included with the camera purchase. So hopefully one Saturday when I don't have my social work class I can go up and take one of the photography classes. This evening I've read the manual, watched the tutorial DVD and taken some pictures. I can't wait to use it for real! I'm going to do some portraits of Amanda and Katilyn and Mattie this week sometime so that should help me get used to it. And Heather's birthday party is next weekend. So I'll have it broken in in no time at all.

Cameras make me a very happy girl...

Jessie

Boogie

I loved my Wii before. In fact I was a bit obsessed with my Wii before. But I got a new game today called Boogie and now I'm so freaking excited! This game is too much fun. It's a dance and karaoke game and I'm so hooked. It has a bunch of fun songs that you make the person dance too. You control their movements and I can tell you my little gal gets freaky when I'm home alone. :-) Just kidding. She is actually kinda klutzy and off beat. That may have something to do with my lack of rhythm. But it's fun and I dance like a crazy woman. Lena doesn't like it so much but I'm thinking it might just make my butt smaller... How cool is that!

Jessie

Prayers

I spend a great deal of time praying for a baby. In fact it's what I pray for the most. I probably say that prayer about 20 times a day. God please bring me a baby. God please let me have a baby. God please please please. I don't even know if it's a prayer anymore as much as it is pleading, begging, desperation. But something happened today and my perspective changed a bit.

Today I was supposed to meet Miss S for lunch and to visit. But even though I was doing that the plan was to stay unattached, uninvolved. I wasn't going to sonograms or the birth or any other stuff this time. I was going to protect my heart. In fact as I was driving to meet her I was praying. I prayed that God would help me to express myself, that he would help me show her I would be a good mother, that he would bless me with her baby, my baby, our baby. But most of all I prayed that he would protect my heart. That he wouldn't let me get attached.

But something went wrong. Maybe I didn't pray hard enough or loud enough or fold my hands tight enough because the next thing I knew I was arriving at a hospital with a very pregnant, very sick Miss S. Her blood pressure was really high, 170/120 and she was feeling miserable and scared. And she didn't want to be alone of course so I stayed because it was the right thing to do. And I prayed that God would keep her safe and would protect my heart.

And before I knew it there was a baby girl on a tv monitor and she was kicking and her heart beat was racing and she looked small yet perfect. All 4 1/2 pounds of perfect beautiful baby and my heart was unprotected and I prayed again that God would make sure she was okay and that Miss S was okay.

The doctor admitted Miss S. I stayed till her family could come. I hung out with her all afternoon and we laughed and talked. We had a good time, minus the beeping blood pressure machine, blood draws, and me tripping over a chair. We talked about what adoption meant to us and what we wanted the future to be like. And before I knew it I felt like she was my friend and I didn't care about my heart. I cared about her and her being safe and it hit me.... This isn't just about me. This adoption and these prayers aren't about me...

It's really about a complete coming together. It's about complete trust and faith in one another and in God. She has to trust me to care for her and for this baby girl. She has to know I won't jump ship when it gets hard and she has to know that I will be true to my word. And it's about me trusting her enough to let her in. It's about trusting God to not lead me into something I can't handle. While the other failed adoptions have been horrible, I've gotten through them. While my heart hurt he protected just enough to help me push forward and not give up. He did it before and he will do it again. I have to have that faith.

So my prayer is changing. Instead of praying for just a baby I'm going to pray that God leads me to the baby that he has planned for me. And instead of praying that he protects my heart I'm going to pray that he lets my heart open to this whole process. I'm going to pray that he lets me come together with the right expectant mom and that he guides me in that relationship of trust and faith.

Amen!

Jessie

Snow Day

We ended up getting another 5 inches of snow last night. It rained all day yesterday and then the snow started around 9:30 last night. So this morning when I woke up there was a lot of beautiful snow on top of quite a bit of ice. Good times!



All the area schools were closed including the university. That never happens. So I ended up having no school. I haven't had a snow day in years! So since I don't have any kids to play with in the snow I took Lena out for a bit. She wasn't quite sure about playing in it. She really doesn't like snow balls but she sure was cute. Now she is hiding under a blanket on the couch trying to get warmed up.



My guess is the snow will melt in the next couple of days. I can't believe how much snow we have gotten so far this year. And who knows how many more snowfalls we will get. This has been one long odd winter. Lucky for me I love snow!

Jessie

Wordless Wednesday- Bird Boy

Ten On Tuesday

Ten Things I Can Do Instead of Watching TV

1. Blog
2. Read
3. Do a puzzle
4. Clean
5. Workout
6. Work in the yard
7. Play Tetris
8. Play the Wii
9. Sudoku
10.Hang out with friends or family

Bad Restaurant

Today we had our group staffing at work and then we all went to lunch together. It's not very often that all of us can go eat out together anymore so we were all really psyched. We picked one of our favorite restaurants and one that is known for being fast since we had a limited time to eat before our afternoon appointments all started.

So we got to the restaurant at 11:30 and there were only 3 other people there. We ordered drinks and the drinks came. But all the sodas were nasty! All it tasted like was carbonation. It was really bad. So the drinks got sent back and new drinks came and we ordered our food. It's now 11:45. Time starts ticking by and the food doesn't come, refills don't come, but more people come in. By 12:25 the restaurant is full and the people beside us are starting to get their food even though they have only been there about 15 minutes.

At 12:30 the waitress comes over and tells us the grill is full so it will be awhile???? What it's already been awhile. Then at 12:50 we see her approach with food. Yeah we are gonna eat. But no not everyone. Two people in our group got their food but no silverware because they are "out of clean silverware"! Again WHAT???? So we had to wait until other people finished eating so she could wash the silverware and give it to us.

The last person in the group to get their food was me and it came at 1:15. I was not impressed. By then the first person in the group was done eating so I got to use her fork. It's nice that we are all good at sharing. We asked to speak to the manager and he wouldn't come out to speak to us. He told the waitress to tell us that he wouldn't charge us for the soda and that usually they automatically add gratuity for groups of 8 or more but he wouldn't do that.

That's the part that really ticked me off. Basically he was going to punish the waitress for the kitchen not managing orders and time well. It's not her fault they screwed up. We ended up tipping her pretty well anyway but I was really not impressed. We won't be going back there again obviously but I thought he was pretty chicken shit for not talking to us. Ridiculous!

My food wasn't even that good after the whole wait and I've thrown up three times since we have eaten lunch. I don't know if I'm getting the stomach flu or if it was bad food. Who knows. The point is just don't eat at Wings!

Jessie

Manic Monday

Is there anything to serious to joke about? If so, what falls into that category for you?

I personally joke about some pretty serious topics. In fact I've been known to have horrible boundaries about that kind of thing and I have a pretty sick sense of humor. No topic is off limits when it comes to me and jokes. While it doesn't really offend me I do try to be somewhat sensitive to others. If I know something will offend them I try not to joke about it in front of them. But inside I'm gonna be cracking up!

Would you rather be a tortured genius or a happy simple-minded person? Why?

I'm good with being happy and simple-minded. I'd much rather be oblivious to whats going on and have a good time then to know what's coming and be worked up about it.

A dear friend or family member has a terminal illness and is in agony. He/she wants you to help him/her die. What would you do?

I'd pray for them, support them, and try to get them the best pain management plan possible. But I wouldn't kill them. I think the most important thing to do is to support and love someone until God decides it's time to let them go.

Super Sunday

It's really been a super Sunday. We celebrated my brother Shawn's birthday today. That was good times. He got some cool gifts and it gave us an excuse to eat cake. Well I actually passed on the cake but everyone else had some and seemed to like it. Then we all hung out to watch the SuperBowl. Gotta love it when the underdog wins. That's always makes my day.

Too top of the superness of the day I actually finished the last of Lost. I've watched three seasons now in about 3 weeks. I'm about Lost out. I'm glad to be done with it. I really like the show but I've watched way to much of it lately. So now that I'm done with that I may have time to get caught up on all the other shows I've got TiVo'd and haven't watched yet.

I'm dreading Monday! I really don't want to go back to work yet. It seemed like a short weekend. Now that my classes have started again the weekends feel really short. Trying to cram homework in with everything else is a real pain. But I have a staff meeting that I'm in charge of tomorrow so I have to go to work. No fake sick day for me.

Jess

Saturday Special

Words Ending in ARY ~ I Say You Answer~

1. Diary...you answer?:
2. Primary...you answer?:
3. Ordinary...you answer?:
4. Extraordinary...you answer?:

Diary- Secret
Primary- Election
Ordinary- Me
Extraordinary- Miracles

Numbers

Today I had a brief moment of panic. I was cleaning out my purse and wallet and couldn't find my mom's social security card. I freaked out. After some digging and crying I found it. It had gotten stuck to the back of one of my other cards. I am really weird about my mom's social security card, insurance card and driver's license. I carry them with me at all times.

I'm not sure why silly numbers and identification have such a hold on me. But for some reason they are my proof to the world that she existed. It's like if I carry them no one can say she wasn't real. For some reason when I can't find one of them it's like a part of her is gone and the world will forget. I know that makes no sense.

I have heard that I am like my mom. And I know that my sister is a lot like her. So I know that as long as we exist a part of her exists but not everyone knew her. So for the world I carry the cards. I carry the proof that she was real. And thank God I found the card. No more panic.

Jessie

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
What is your favorite kind of cereal? Honey Nut Cherrios

Soup
When was the last time you purchased something for your home, what was it, and in which room did it go? Just a few days ago I bought a new smoke detector to put in my hallway.

Salad
What is the funniest commercial you’ve ever seen? I love the Altel commercial where there are three girls standing around together outside. Two of them are holding cell phones looking at the other girl and they say "you really got a pony". It's basically meaning that they got new phones for christmas and the other girl really got a pony. Then they say "does it bite" and the pony is eating the roof off of the shed. For some reason it just cracked me up.

Main Course
Make up a name for a company by using a spice and an animal (example: Cinnamon Monkey). Ginger Mouse

Dessert
Fill in the blank: I haven’t __talked without sounding like a frog____ since ___January 11th___.

Rematched

I got a call from my social worker today and I am rematched with another expectant mom. I met with her and her family on Saturday and the meeting went well. So she would like to move forward with an adoption plan with me. While I would usually be very excited about this after two other failed matches it's not nearly as exciting. In fact it's almost terrifying and a little depressing. All I can think is that this is what happens before she changes her mind... Horrible isn't it.

But I'm going to try really hard to be optimistic. I'm going to make myself believe that the third time may really be a charm. I'm going to try to believe that maybe I am meant to have a baby girl and that's why the others haven't worked out. This baby is a little girl so maybe it will work. I'm going to try very hard to pray and have faith that God has a plan and no matter how this ends up it's all part of his plan. And I'm going to cross my fingers and my toes and hope like crazy this is the last time I have to go through the horrible waiting process....

Miss S is due on March 11th. Not to far away. So hopefully the time will go quickly and I will know the end result soon enough.

Here's to hoping and praying...

Jessie

Jancy

Today I had my Family Therapy class. It's actually a pretty interesting class. The best part is that we have two papers and two tests and that's it for assignments. No group projects, no role playing, no stupid filler assignments. Thank God for that. I hate busy work! The bad part is that the instructor never remembers my name.

Today he did attendance and said my name right. Right after that he called me up to give me a copy of the syllabus and then as I was walking off he called me Jancy. I corrected him and said no it's Jessie. 15 minutes into class he looked at me and said, "Jancy what are your thoughts." I corrected him and said it was either Jessie or Jessica. This went on another 5 times before class was over! It's only at 3 hour class!

The real kicker is that Jancy sits two rows in front of me. Jancy is actually a really hot black guy that is about 6'2, 250 pounds, with beautiful dreads. He is a beautiful beautiful man that I would love to date! We kinda flirt back and forth but haven't really talked a whole lot. He is loving it that I get called his name. He thinks that I'm going to get him a great grade in the class! I'm just shocked that the instuctor can't tell Jancy and I apart... I don't get it...

Jessie AKA Jancy

Wordless Wednesday

Ten On Tuesday

10 Things I’d Buy If I Had a Million Dollars (and I had to spend it on myself)

1. Pay off my student loans.

2. Pay off my house.

3. Pay off my vehicle.

4. Go on a trip to Europe.

5. Go on a trip to Ireland.

6. Buy land in the country.

7. Finance 4 adoptions so I could have my houseful of kids.

8. Buy a new computer.

9. Buy a chocolate diamond ring and matching necklace.

10. Get a yard boy!!!

What would you buy with a million dollars?

More Lost

I've been watching the Lost DVD's like a mad woman. I'm trying to get through the first three seasons before Thursday when Season 4 starts. I don't know that I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna finish Season 2 up tonight but I'm thinking getting season three done before then would be pushing it. So I may have to record it and watch the premire later.

I just really love the show though. I thought Season 1 was amazing but now Season 2 is even better. Each show gets a little more intense and a little more enthralling. I don't know how people come up with this stuff. Whoever writes Lost should get mad props and a raise!

Jessie

Manic Monday

If you could have a servant come to your house every day for one hour, what would you have them do?

Clean, Clean, Clean, and in their free time pay the bills!

Has your life ever been changed by an apparently random occurrence?

I don't think any occurrence is random. I think everything happens for a reason.

You're having dinner with several friends and acquaintances. They all criticize a close friend of yours (not knowing he/she is a friend). The criticism is unjustified. What would you do?

I would explain that he/she is my friend and explain why their criticism is wrong in my opinion. Then I would ask them not to discuss him/her in my presence unless it is in a positive light.

Happy Birthday Amanda

Today is my sister-in-law Amanda's birthday! We had a birthday lunch for her. Good old spaghetti. After we recovered from eating to much at lunch she opened her presents and then we had chocolate cake. I always make everyone's favorite cake for their birthday and she requested chocolate. It was really good. It's been a long time since I've had chocolate cake. I'm glad that was her pick. After lunch we all hung out and some of us enjoyed ourselves. For some reason Mattie was in a horrible mood today. I've never seen her be so unhappy. I kept trying to explain that it was her mommy's birthday and she should be nice but she would hear none of that. So while she was busy being crabby the rest of us enjoyed ourselves. All in all it was a good day. I love birthdays!!!! Hope you had a great one Amanda.

Jessie

Mattie Adventures

There are new Mattie Adventures going on all the time. The latest adventures were captured over the last few days. Mattie stayed the night at my house last night to keep me company and lift my spirits. It's incredibly difficult to be sad when you see this little face and all her antics. So enjoy the amazing adventures of Miss Mattie!




Who needs toys when you can have kitchen utensils????



I like lemons....



I don't like lemons...



My smile will distract them...



And then I will sneak away....


And have a drink or two...



And maybe I should take one for the road...

Regrouping

I think I've gotten regrouped after the newest disaster. I only worked half days at work yesterday and today. That way I would have a little time to myself to rest up, get caught up, and get back to normal. It's been nice to sleep in and do some of the things that make me feel good. I think I'll be able to head back to the office on Monday feeling ready and focused.

This weekend I have to go work an independent living retreat for the older foster kids we serve. It's just Saturday that I have to work so it won't be bad. The kids are usually pretty fun and honestly they pretty much run the meetings and events. I just need to be around to supervise and make sure they don't do anything crazy. They are really a good bunch of kids so that means I don't really have to do much.

Heather is coming home again tomorrow. I'm gonna get spoiled on seeing her every few days now. She wants to make sure I'm okay. Also we have our sister-in-law Amanda's birthday party on Sunday. So she has to come home for cake and ice cream and gifts.

I'm also going to meet with another expectant mother tomorrow evening. I know it's really soon after the last failed match. Only a few days. But I've got to keep pushing forward. So I'm going to the meeting and we will see what happens. What's that saying, God doesn't close a door without opening a window. Maybe this is my window. I wouldn't want to risk not checking out the view.

Jessie

Home Alone Again

I hate making these posts but I get to do it once again. Since I hate these posts so much I'm going to crosspost the same thing to both blogs. It saves me the little bit of sanity I have left.

At 12:30 A.M on Tuesday I got the call that Miss T was in labor. I made the frantic middle of night disoriented drive to the hospital. I made it in time to witness the birth of an amazing little boy and cut the cord at 4:30 A.M. To say it was a miracle is an understatement. Miss T and her family and the hospital staff were wonderful to me. I had a security band so I could be with the baby and take him to and from the nursery, I was able to have a private room and kept him with me the first 24 hours of his life. Heather and Darby were with us and were able to hold and love on him too. He was precious.

This morning when the time came to sign relinquishments mom choose to parent rather than move forward with the adoption. So yet again I packed up our things, kissed a sweet boy goodbye, and had to call the people I loved and tell them one more time never mind. I've heard all the platitudes, said all the prayers and cried more tears then I ever dreamed. But I'm home now and I'm without a baby but I'm really not alone.

Heather came home with me for awhile. She headed back home to go to school late this afternoon, Darby took a shift with me and Shawn, Amanda and Mattie did the dinner and evening shift. I'm gonna head to bed shortly and I'm looking forward to some rest in my own bed.

I won't lie I want to lay down on the nursery room floor and bawl. I want to throw things and scream and fight and give up. But I won't. I think back to my mom and how she fought for us. She adopted me after many miscarriages and she had a very tough pregnancy with Heather when doctors told her she would never carry a baby to term. And then she fought our whole lives to give us what we needed and be the mom God wanted her to be. And then when she found out she had pancreatic cancer and was going to die she fought till the end to stay with us. She didn't want to leave her children. It was her job to be with us so she fought and fought and fought.

She fought for her children because that is what mothers do. And I know that I will be a mother and I will fight until I have those children and I will fight till the day I die to be their mother. So instead of laying down and giving up I'm going to go back in that nursery and I'm going to pray to God that he will give me the strength to fight and wait and become the mother I'm meant to be.

Jessie

Planning

Today Darby and I went to Kansas City to meet with my adoption attorney. He is a very nice guy and very competent and calming. We went over the process and fees and all that fun stuff. I'm glad that piece is out of the way and we can just focus on getting ready for this little guy to debut. It looks like it could be happening pretty quickly. While I'm trying not to get too excited I'm also trying to be realistic. If this all works out and the little guy comes home with me I want to make sure everything is ready for him. So I've been working on things like a mad woman to prepare. I'm crossing my fingers and praying like crazy that this will work out like I'm dreaming it will.

Jess

Wordless Wednesday

Lost

I've been living under a huge rock and missing out on one of the best shows ever! LOST IS AMAZING!!! Since I've been sick and burnt through all my movies my sister-in-law Amanda brought me Season One of Lost. Oh Lordy! I think I may have to stay home sick the rest of the week to watch all three seasons. I'm totally hooked.

Today I sat on the couch and watched the first four discs of the seven disc set. I think I only moved to go to the bathroom and heat up soup. I've laughed, I've cried, I've yelled at the TV. I'm obssessed with Lost!!!

Seriously I am going to work tomorrow but I figure if I hurry right home after work I can cram another 3 or 4 episodes in tomorrow night. I for sure won't be putting in any extra hours at the office this week. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Jessie

Sick

A week ago my throat started hurting and I started coughing a lot. I thought it was just allergies. It was always bad in the morning but then by around 10 or so I would start feeling better until it got bad again in the evening. Well yesterday I started losing my voice. Today my voice is pretty much gone and my throat was like fire. So off to the doctor I went. Because I haven't been in like three weeks and that $50 was just burning a hold in my pocket.

So after spending my money and waiting in line for over an hour at the pharmacy I now have a prescription for strep throat and a double ear infection. Good times! I don't know what the deal is but the last year it feels like I'm always on an antibiotic for something. Even when I try to wait it out and hope it will go away on it's own I end up having to go to the doctor. I hate that. I hate how much it costs everytime I have to go. What a pain.

So I had to stay home today and since I'm contagious until I've been on the antibiotic for 24 hours it looks like I'm stuck at home tomorrow. YUCK! Lena and I have spent the day napping and watching movies. I decided that if I was going to be stuck here I was going to be as productive as possible. So while watching movies I've been putting all my mom's old pictures in photo albums. I've filled two albums so far which means 1200 pictures. And I'm halfway into the third. Hopefully all the rest will fit in that last one. It's been something on my to do list for along time so at least it's getting accomplished.

Jessie

Annoyed

I've spent the afternoon taking down my Christmas decorations. Yes I know I should have done it a long time ago. But I hate doing it. I hate putting them up and I hate taking them down. But I love the in between part. It's just such a hassle. Hauling it all in from the shop and spending all the time to put them up to only take them down a few weeks later. And then nothing goes back in the same boxes. I always end up with more stuff than I started with. And then dragging it all back out to the shop. Why do I even mess with it?

And my phone still isn't working right. I'm booked solid with appointments tomorrow for work so who knows when I'll be able to get it fixed. I've been using my work phone for pretty much everything. It doesn't have all my numbers in it but at least I can call out on it. As long as I have my immediate family and Darby in the phone I'm good to go. Everyone else can wait till Tuesday. Maybe then I'll even be able to check my voicemail.

Jessie

Stupid Phone

How can we put men on the moon but I can't seem to get a cell phone that works when it should. My phone has been turning on and off all day. It only works half the time. I can see that I have voicemails but I can't listen to them for some reason. And since the phone shuts off I can't even tell what calls I've missed. At this point it won't even stay on when I turn it back on. It will load up, beep that I have voicemail and then shut right back off. I've taken the battery out and put it back in and I've charged it. So who knows what is wrong with it. Any ideas how to fix it between now and Monday when the phone place opens back up????

Jessie

Old Chicago

Amanda, Mattie, and I loaded up today and headed to Wichita to see Heather. She couldn't come home this weekend and we were tired of missing her. So we decided if she wasn't coming to us we were going to her. We ended up meeting Heather and Kelci at Old Chicago for lunch. Oh my gosh the food was so good. I have eaten there before and it was good but it was really good today. I'm still full!

Amanda had never seen Heather and Kelci's place before so we took her over there to give her the tour and to hang out for awhile. Mattie thought Heather's was a pretty fun place to play. It was a fun afternoon. Mattie was enjoying the ride back home but Amanda and I had a great day. Now I've just got to get motivated and do some stuff around the house now that I'm back home. I have a lot to get done to get ready for the baby to come home. I'm trying not to do to many baby specific things just in case but I'd like to get some things in order that would relieve some stress if a little baby did show up sometime soon.

So I better get to it.

Jessie

Matched Up

Today I had a meeting with an expectant mother who would like for me to adopt her baby boy. She is due at the beginning of February. We had a very good first meeting and I feel really comfortable with her. She is a really neat gal. She already has two year old twins and they are really cute kids. Her little girl and I made friends quick thanks to the necklace I was wearing. Kids love beads! So at this point we are officially matched and now I just wait. I am going to try my hardest not to get too attached yet and to stay cautiously optimistic. I am so fearful she will change her mind after he is born like Miss N did. I don't know if I can handle all that again. But God has a plan. If this little guy is supposed to be mine then he will be. I just have to have faith this will all work out the way it is supposed too.

Jessie

Wordless Wednesday

Shots Rock

Well it happened tonight! I've been waiting for weeks and it finally happened! My blood sugar was below 200! In fact it was 174!!!!! That is still high but it's so much closer to normal. I'm making progress. The shots are working. Finally some real success!

What's crazy is that every day as I've seen it go down it's made it easier to stick with the eating right and the working out. It's like now that I finally have the help from the shots it's not like I'm trying and seeing no results. Now it's worth it. There is a payoff. I was so thrilled when I saw that 174 pop up! I was so happy that I wanted to reward myself with a big old bowl of ice cream but I didn't do that. Healthy me is not going to sabotage this! So I worked out and I had a really healthy dinner and I just did a happy dance. I can't wait to see what number pops up tomorrow. I think I might be getting this under control.

Jessie

Spring...

The last two days it has been in the 50's and 60's here. All the snow has melted and the sun has been shining. It's really nice. The only downside is that my allergies kicked in today. I've got a sore throat and I've been sneezing like crazy. At least when it's 20 degrees out I'm not sneezing while I'm freezing...

After Mattie went home today Darby and I went to the mall for a bit. She is the one that wanted to go but I ended up buying stuff. I found a couple great deals on things for Heather for her birthday so I couldn't pass that up. And I got myself a new pair of jeans and a couple shirts. Somehow I ended up with a credit on my Maurices credit card. So I just used that rather than wait for a check to come in a couple months.

Since I've started my injections for my blood sugar I've lost 10 pounds and gone down two pants sizes. The injections not only help regulate my blood sugar but they also shrink my stomach. So I have to eat really small amounts. I've also been forcing myself to exercise more often. I worked out 5 times this week. Between the injections, the working out, and cooking at home I'm really starting to notice a difference. So the jeans I bought today are pretty tight right now but hopefully they will last a little longer before I have to get another pair. I figure if they are tight now they won't be in two or three weeks.

If I keep up losing at this rate then I should be down about 60 pounds by June. That is amazing to me. Who knew a shot could do so much. I thought I would hate doing the shots but now I feel foolish for waiting so long. It doesn't hurt and I feel so much better on them. Each day my blood sugar is a little lower than the day before. I can't wait till it's in the normal range. I can't even imagine how good I'll feel then...

Jessie

The Mattie Adventures

Tonight I'm babysitting Mattie so my brother and sister-in-law could go out. She is a lot of fun! The last time I posted pictures of her she was having fun digging through the dish towel drawer. Tonight she found a bench and had a blast figuring out how to climb up and down on it. She figured out that if she stood on it she could get the stuff off my end tables. So here are the newest Mattie adventure pictures.






The girl just kills me. She and Lena spent along time playing. My dog is a psycho but when Mattie is around she is pretty chill. She still has lots of energy but she is way more gentle with Mattie then she is with anyone else. Mattie loves her and will laugh and laugh whenever Lena runs close to her. Heck between the dog and the bench I don't think she even played with any real toys tonight. She is easy to entertain that's for sure.

Jessie

The Strike

I'm really getting sick of the writer's strike. It's been going on for weeks now. At first I was understanding. I get that they want more money. They write the jokes they should get the credit and the cash. But now I'm getting tired of it. Darby and I watch Grey's Anatomy every Thursday together. It's what we do. Well for the last several weeks no new episodes! Next week there will be a new episode but it's the last one until the strike is over. Now I'm getting annoyed. I'm half tempted to just shut my cable off. There have been some good side effects to the strike. I'm reading more, I'm caught up on some things I had put off, and I am spending a lot less time watching TV. I'm thinking if it doesn't end soon I'll say farewell to cable and just stick with my books and netflix....

Jessie

Goals For 2008

Well my last post was a summary of the goals I set for 2007. Now that the New Year is here it is time to set new goals. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. That has never worked for me. Goals are much better. It gives me something to focus on yet I don't have to freak out if I don't meet them. So here we go...

1. Adopt a baby!
2. Attend church at least twice a month.
3. Grow a vegetable garden.
4. Get a better balance between work and personal life. No more than 50 hours a week at the office or on the cell phone after hours!
5. Get my A1C level (diabetes level) to 7.5. It's currently 10.3 which is really really bad. 6.0 would be perfect non diabetes. 6.5 is what the doc recommends for diabetics.
6. Go to Chicago!
7. Have a garage sale.
8. Work out at least 3 times a week.
9. Visit my Dad and Cricket at their house in South Carolina.
10. Start my final practicum for grad school.
11. Only eat out one time per week.
12. Go to a ballet.
13. Go to Exploration Place in Wichita.

So that's my list of things I wanna do this year. Some are tough but some are fun. Good balance! That's actually my biggest goal. More balance in my life. Balance between work and school and my health and personal life. That would be a very big accomplishment.

Here's to a great New Year!!!!

Jessie